I live in a shitty city with shitty drivers. I'm constantly being yelled at to get onto the sidewalk, which is illegal, when I'm riding my bike in the street. There aren't bike lanes everywhere, I do use them when they're there. People will intentionally get close to me, yell at me, honk their horns at me, and I've almost been hit many times. Let's say the next time someone does that to me I take my U lock and dent their car or smash their mirror or window, and somehow I get caught doing it. What kind of trouble could I get in? Can I claim self defense/teaching those ******* a lesson?